Karen's Re-birthday Poem

3/16/2005

The Paradox Prana Princess Awakens 

as a Present Unto Yourself.

Countdown to Conscious Contra-dictions

…55 and counting!

Karen Altschuler

What a year you have lived

You have had another 365 tries at living fully

In that time you have died and been reborn

You have been blinded and now you are seeing and being

You had a get in hand, but still felt the effects

Your therapy finally found its course

No longer playing victim, you took time to examine the triggers

Your father became glorified

Yet, he and your mother you found fault

But you discovered that they were not at fault for their mistreatment

because they could not help themselves

You struggled to forgive your past spouses

despite the fact that they have moved on without you

Time for you to do the same.

Images of your brother in bliss out west

gave you hope and coupling aspirations.

Alone, yet never for long

Longed for love, light and laughter

An identity, a spirit, divided between the divine and the familiar

forged and fostered by friend and familial ties

kept comfortable and connected, never phone cell-ibate

Felt the emptiness of your nest,

while you tried to live life to the Max

Letting him go while keeping him close

Wanting to be the mom you never had

Wanting to have love without the loss

So you took a break by getting away

Finding yourself by losing your self

Martha’s Vineyard, Sedona, Colorado, Florence

Looking elsewhere, you found something close to home

Not really looking, you get found

Finding a match dot com-men-able mate

Are we same'ach; feeling better now?

No sooner do you two take a hike into the woods,

share a tear, read your letter, wine and dine

Than a relationship develops… a loving friendship no less

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With Henry, the menschlach, Oy, vey, a gentile, who would guess?

Life changes with the stroke of a key

It isn’t long before this stranger from a strange land seems all too familiar

What could you and he possibly have in common?

Aging, hiking, exercising your minds and hearts…more to come

All the doubts and fears bubble to the surface for you to face

While opening your heart to the challenges of being known and accepted

With faults, flaws and foibles of fickleness and foolishness

They are really endearing qualities in disguise

But how can you find balance with new beginnings and old habits?

How can you be what you want without being what you were?

How can you have the freedom and flexibility to be you

Loving the feeling of feeling free with me?

You ask:

Where am I going?

What am I doing?

What is my calling?

Who should I be with?

How can I live in congruence with my heart?

I know I have to, but how can I change?

Why do I fear the unknown?

How do I stay present and live fully?

How can I live without judgment?

But how dare you think you deserved a break!

Reality and time keep ticking and taking

Dina’s Evan-escence emerged on the scene

Now, bubbe, grand parenting is your call-ing.

Another role you can’t resist.

Learning to sleep less with more awakenings

Letting go yet hanging on

Staying yet leaving

Facing forward, going backward

Missing Henry by finding your being

Becoming known by looking in the mirror

Getting closer by being away

Conscious, while the unconscious clings

Questioning finds the answers

Earning a living or living a life?

Living on lots or loving with little?

Living with the past or leaping with the present?

Lying in wait, lying in limbo, lying in state?

Citified, but nature’s calling

You ready to answer the call waiting?

Full of growth and change

Your shield is shedding a skin to grow

By facing and forgiving superficialities

Toenail trim, forgetting, schmeggege

You’re finding your way by getting lost in your light

Still holding on while letting go

Trying to move forward by going back

Trying be-ing during some trying times

Hiking trails; fearing making your own blazes

Taking new paths without retreat or regret

Walking your talking is taking some time

Patience is practicing your present perfection

Perfecting takes practice accepting the hour

Present-ing is what you practice and preach

Practicing our preaching without patronizing

Accepting and respecting our time and our temperaments

Finding comfort in our alone-ness

Knowing you blossom when you get natural

Seeing butterflies, hearing bluebirds, smelling the gentian

Discovering detachment in your attachments

Leaving your circle to discover your self

Is there congruence in affluence?

Finding comfort from discomfort

Facing your foibles by seeing them endearingly

Finding worth in your wealth of knowing

Trusting in your heart and voicing your love

Reconciling your past while living your present

Trying to be spontaneous in your planning

Co-creating choices, callings and comforts

Yearning for present connection without past disconnection

Being independent but never a lone star without a universe

Wanting direction without a compass

Feeling a man while keeping your fe-maleness

Have a man feel you while you feel his heart-ness

Discovering yourself by uncovering your past

Finding your calling by facing your past

The princess facade is fading

while the future lies in the moment

Your identity and direction unclear

You want to know yourself

You want to discover who you really are

You know you can do that best

by being honest, open and in love

You know you sleep best when you feel safe

When you feel fully loved, honored and pleasured

Sleep comes with knowing you can awaken without fear

Finding your inner core through the calming silence of your soul

Opening your limbs and lips to hugs, kisses and caresses

Back rubs, rib cracking hugs and hand holdings

learning to love in thought and action

while extricating judging, expectations and past associations

Learning to dialogue as a couple can

While keeping true to your inner voice

Seeing yourself in the eyes of your lover

mirroring without distractions and distortions

Knowing that relationship with Henry is

Seeing change as scary, but necessary

Seeing controlling change as needed

No more victimizing, just owning all your angst

Yoga stretches calls, calms and centers

Committed to voluntary acts of kindness

Taking time to tackle triggers

Helping yourself while helping others

Wanting to feel love without expressing love

Wanting to express love through maternal instincts

Wanting to change and making choices to make it happen

Wanting to be cared for without attachment

Wanting to care without controlling

Wanting to be comfortable without a calling

Wanting a calling yet not sure of the direction

Seeking tantric tastes in sacred, spirited sexuality

Learning about yourself through your love/r

Your birth day is re-birthing

Hello, Honey, it’s me!

Oh, where are you now?

I’m here; waiting for you to take a leap and a lunge

Is that really you?

Yes, 'tis I

No longer hesitant, shy, fearful or frightened

No longer voiceless; you are designing a new journey

and with this one, you won’t fall off

Wherefore art thou, Kara-way?

Whenever you are, there you are.

Happy Rebirthday, Joya Prana!